I only tapped you!

So I am driving along the other day, on my way hoe from work and as is sometimes the case the main drag back to my house is stuffed with vehicles. We are bumper to bumper as tho we live in NYC and not in the sleepy nook of Annapolis. Admittedly, I am tired and distracted and not paying attention really...since we are not moving I feel fairly safe in this state of being. FOOLISHLY. So as I'm sitting there the car in front of me suddenly shifts into park and the woman driving gets out looking furious and starts stomping towards my car. I blink and start to wonder... what is she doing? Loudly she begins to yell as she stomps along " YOU HIT MY CAR!!" I look at her in wonder. I look at her car. I look to the car next to me, the man nods while trying unsuccessfully to keep the smirk from his face. I look back to the now very close and irate face out my window and smile. The woman must actually wipe DUST from her bumper in order to inspect the 'damage' I have inflicted upon her at .5 mph. Now I offer her my insurance information as it becomes clear that even tho there is not a mark on her CHEVY IMPALA she is going to throw a full blown temper tantrum. She refuses my information and insists on calling the cops. I would take a moment to point out that all this is happening in the driving lane since she is also refusing to pull off into the parking lot that is right next to us as though her vehicle has been totalled by my massive collision with her.

By the time we do get pulled over, I have now officially had the raddish with this woman is alternately lecturing me on driving and flying off the pan handle about various car related delusions. I make a show of taking out my logic problems book and setting to work as though I can wait all day for her dramatic little ass, this serves only to further infuriate her as I was hoping it would. The police show up and are thoroughly confounded by the incident as no damage has occured and they don't know why they are there. I smile and return to my logic problems. She launches into a fresh tantrum on crazy white girls.

In the end the police filed a report to make her happy, waited for her to leave and then laughed their asses off and told me not worry about it. Overall 40 minutes of my life I may never get back but were very entertaining.