Good Morning

Let me just say how much I LOVE my shower in the morning. On days when I get the chance to shower during daylight, that is. It is flooded with warm yellow light and so bright that despite my exhaustion I cannot help but to feel as though the world is the most wonderful place and my day will glorious. The feeling doesn't last much further than the bathroom but it is EUPHORIC.

I am almost a week into HH being away in the UK and aside from a few sobfests, I'm doing ok. I do wish so much that I could be there, we conferenced this morning and since she has a laptop she took it to the window and showed me the view....beautiful of course. I love modern technology by the way. Conferencing makes me happy and terribly sad at the same time. I am so happy to see her face and hear her voice at the same time but also it just makes me feel the empty air around me that much more.

This weekend, I am a Domestic Dorothy. I have to :

1. stain the new bed frame
2. pull the weeds on the front walk
3. plant herbs in the backyard
4. lesson plan
5. knit the orange scarf
6. get birdseed
7. get window frosting stuff


Yep. Domestic Dorothy

You Said

One night as we were stumbling home in our heels and gucci boots, you said to me, " What will happen when we are too old to dance away our sorrow?" and I said to you, "Never. We will never be too old".

Now, you still do and I sit here feeling nostalgic and wondering, what do I do now? Because of course, I know it can't last forever and its time is gone but now what?

Because honestly, some nights, I want to put on my 4 inch red heels and my trashy and tight black shirts and dance until 6 am to whatever pop star is about to fall embarrassingly in the next six months until I can't remember why I am dancing. Until all I know is that sweat is running down my face and the back of my knees and I feel pure and burned out.

I miss that and I miss you.

Many others

are doing so you know...I'm a follower. A daily self portrait for 6 months to a year.

Winds of Change

Yes, my life is a tornado of rapid change and while it is very overwhelming some days, it also just feels right. I am moving tomorrow, into a lovely cape cod that I ADORE with neighbors named 'butterworth' and lovely rose bushes in need of pruning. I am starting a new position in about a month and a half and my brain is FULL of a storm of ideas, but it looks like they will have to be executed in paper and pencil since we have no budget and no supplies. Time to look into grants!

I am just so ready for this shift. I have spent 4 lovely years with the babies and learned a lot about myself and about running a household. I have slowed down emotionally and leveled out considerably. I have my time as a nanny/housewife to thank for that. I am grateful for the quiet suburban life I've led for the last 4 years. I am ready now to take on the challenge of the city and its poverty and grime and hopefully make a difference. I cannot wait to get into my new room and set it up for kids!!

I heart change!!

Some People

Really are that dumb.

It staggers me to realize that some people don't WANT to know, they are happily, stubbornly ignorant and insist on staying that way to the point of viewing your efforts to inform them or expose them as an attack on their person.

I cannot believe it. and yet there it is, right in front of me. Walking, talking and babbling on at the mouth with a stream of nonsense.


ridiculous.

and by the way. even wild animals know that meat rots if you leave it around.

Learning

Slowly I learn more and more about Phtoshop. The potential of what you can accomplish is spectacualr. The amount I understand and can employ reliably is minimal.

On Stage

A few weeks ago, I was driving home from work and heard a radio announce for a singer/songwriter to perform in my town. This particular artist is a fav of HH and we have listened to her soulful tunes many a car ride. I quickly hurried home and snapped up tickets and then proceeded to work desperately at keeping this a secret from HH. I made it, Those who know me well will be shocked at this since i generally cannot keep a secret this well and if pressed will immediately spill the beans. THere are reasons I am not an international spy.

We arrived at the venue last night, in our weeknight finest, and she says "OH i know what we're doing". Now, I am a little sad but of course how long can you keep the secret? Till the artist walks on stage? probably not. We go in, get our 'real' tickets and stand around killing time until they open the doors. HH picks up a brochure on upcoming shows at the venue and lets out a squeal quickly followed by a frustrated " oh we missed it". I say...what? " Ayo is playing here..." and i say, "No Shit" since that is who we are there to see and she told me she had it figured out.

Yes, she hadn't figured it out and was thrilled to discover that we were in fact seeing Ayo together that very night.

and it was spectacular. What a talent and a true pleasure to watch perform. Such a fun personality and a real charm and wit.

Overall.... just a lovely concert.