Daily Commute

It's not very green of me, I know, I burn easily a tank a week, if not more. It's only for two more weeks and then I'll be into a MUCH more reasonable 1/2 a tank a week or less but really it's just gratuitous. Not to mention the actual horror of commuting an hour each way through D.C. rushhour traffic, I can feel my blood pressure rising. I actually let loose a curse this morning of such virility that i somewhat shocked myself. I also think I must be upping my odds of potential car wreck, spending this much time on the road. That's how it works, right? I do know that i very nearly killed a pedestrian yesterday as he bolted across a four lane highway, highly unadvised behavior on his part. I also watched a truck sideswipe the car behind me this morning, good times on the beltway.

The upside to all this is that I'm thoroughly enjoying my book on CD, The Witches of Chiswick. It's bizarre and satirical and hilarious sometimes, narrated by the author it is full of dry humor and a truly ridiculous plotline. I find myself looking forward to my drive and bummed when i arrive home because i am hoping for the next chapter.

Good Morning

Let me just say how much I LOVE my shower in the morning. On days when I get the chance to shower during daylight, that is. It is flooded with warm yellow light and so bright that despite my exhaustion I cannot help but to feel as though the world is the most wonderful place and my day will glorious. The feeling doesn't last much further than the bathroom but it is EUPHORIC.

I am almost a week into HH being away in the UK and aside from a few sobfests, I'm doing ok. I do wish so much that I could be there, we conferenced this morning and since she has a laptop she took it to the window and showed me the view....beautiful of course. I love modern technology by the way. Conferencing makes me happy and terribly sad at the same time. I am so happy to see her face and hear her voice at the same time but also it just makes me feel the empty air around me that much more.

This weekend, I am a Domestic Dorothy. I have to :

1. stain the new bed frame
2. pull the weeds on the front walk
3. plant herbs in the backyard
4. lesson plan
5. knit the orange scarf
6. get birdseed
7. get window frosting stuff


Yep. Domestic Dorothy

You Said

One night as we were stumbling home in our heels and gucci boots, you said to me, " What will happen when we are too old to dance away our sorrow?" and I said to you, "Never. We will never be too old".

Now, you still do and I sit here feeling nostalgic and wondering, what do I do now? Because of course, I know it can't last forever and its time is gone but now what?

Because honestly, some nights, I want to put on my 4 inch red heels and my trashy and tight black shirts and dance until 6 am to whatever pop star is about to fall embarrassingly in the next six months until I can't remember why I am dancing. Until all I know is that sweat is running down my face and the back of my knees and I feel pure and burned out.

I miss that and I miss you.

Many others

are doing so you know...I'm a follower. A daily self portrait for 6 months to a year.

Winds of Change

Yes, my life is a tornado of rapid change and while it is very overwhelming some days, it also just feels right. I am moving tomorrow, into a lovely cape cod that I ADORE with neighbors named 'butterworth' and lovely rose bushes in need of pruning. I am starting a new position in about a month and a half and my brain is FULL of a storm of ideas, but it looks like they will have to be executed in paper and pencil since we have no budget and no supplies. Time to look into grants!

I am just so ready for this shift. I have spent 4 lovely years with the babies and learned a lot about myself and about running a household. I have slowed down emotionally and leveled out considerably. I have my time as a nanny/housewife to thank for that. I am grateful for the quiet suburban life I've led for the last 4 years. I am ready now to take on the challenge of the city and its poverty and grime and hopefully make a difference. I cannot wait to get into my new room and set it up for kids!!

I heart change!!